By Sofie Charron, RP
Of all the reasons people come to therapy, relationship issues certainly is a popular one. While relationships can be a great well of strength and support, they can also be a great source of stress and preoccupation.
As a therapist, I often work with people who wonder whether their relationships is right for them. I've also met couples who want to learn how to navigate conflict more effectively; some that want to learn how to tackle a tricky parenting situation; some that want to rediscover their intimacy; some who want to heal from betrayal.
Here are some of the most impactful books I've read on the topic of relationships:
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - And Keep - Love by Levine, Heller & al.
This book was impactful on both personal and professional levels. The book explains adult attachment styles and how to use this information to find better relationships and improve the ones you have. It's empowering to learn all the subtle ways attachment styles influence our behaviours during conflict and how to turn this around so that relationships grow stronger instead of falling apart.
Hold Me Tight by Dr Sue Johnson
This book is certainly considered a classic by many therapists. The late Dr. Sue Johnson developed Emotion Focused Therapy and has authored several books, including Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships - a powerful follow-up to Hold Me Tight! Dr. Johnson uses her decades of experience working with couples and very relatable scenarios to highlight common conflict mistakes and how to repair them.
ACT With Love by Dr. Russ Harris
Being an avid practitioner of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, I will always have a soft spot for any of Russ Harris' work! I truly did enjoy this practice piece that helps readers identify common pitfalls and negative patterns in relationships, and how to use mindfulness and value-directed living to improve it. The book is easy to read and provides lots of practical exercises.
Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel If you're not familiar with Esther Perel, you can find many of her most popular TEDTalks on YouTube. In this book, Perel explores common barriers to sex and intimacy in relationships. Perel has studied across cultures to identify the factors that make or break relationships.
'Til Stress Do Us Part: How to Deal With the Number 1 Issue In Our Relationships by Elizabeth Earnshaw
I had the absolute pleasure of attending one of Elizabeth Earnshaw's trainings on couple therapy and I learned so much. Earnshaw offers practical advice on how couples can grow stronger through conflict by learning to become co-regulators instead of deregulators. Earnshaw will have you rethinking how you approach your partner's distress, how to understand each other better, and how to get through conflict effectively.
The Codependency Recovery Plan by Krystal Mazzola, MEd, LMFT
An empowering book that sheds light on the origins of codependency and how to overcome patterns of unfulfilling relationships. Unexpectedly but perhaps also unsurprisingly, this book wasn't about building the perfect relationship - it was about finding yourself again. From there, you learn how to set better boundaries and communicate effectively to improve the quality of your relationships.
For more reading recommendations on topics such as emotions, parenting, personal growth and more, check out the other posts in this series and stay tuned for more! If you wish to discuss any of the topics above with a compassionate therapist, send an email to info@charrontherapy.com.
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